Alive with the Glory of Love!

So, I guess I haven't been writing much because I've been incredibly happy. I'm almost afraid to admit that cause I don't wanna jinx it. But what the hell. I am. I have this great amazing boyfriend. And when I say amazing, I mean amazing, in every way possible. He is the sweetest. He knows all the perfect things to say at the most perfect times. I have no doubts that he's in super deep love with me. I don't see this thing ending either. We never fight. So, unless he does something major to piss me off, we'll be good. :)

In other news, I dyed my hair red. No longer a blonde. I actually like it a lot. More than I thought I would... But it seems that more people don't like it then the people who do. Gentlemen prefer blondes after all. =P My dad hates it. Jacob says he likes it but won't tell me which way he likes it better. Which is very annoying. Because contrary to popular belief, I won't get mad one way or the other. Because I'm not gonna let his opinion effect my decision, I just want to know!!! GRRRR!

Also, I'm keeping this gigantic secret. One I have only shared with one person (who I was allowed to btw). But also one that I don't think I can keep for too much longer. One that is starting to reveal itself and one that I know everyone would be better off if this person just came out and told everyone about it. Ugh.

Anyway, now for a very exciting statement. You ready? I GET TO GO SEE SAY ANYTHING IN CONCERTTTTTT!!!!!!!! I'm super excited. I'm soo due for a concert. And I'm soooo glad it's this one. CHYEAH!
So now to end this post, a wonderful quote from the wonderful Max Bemis. =D

“Try to overcome your doubt. Believe you are beautiful. Look at yourself through someone else’s green eyes. Believe someone out there will find you and kiss your skin until you can feel it blister with the heat. Believe in something bigger than your problems and you will be saved.”

Rain rain go away, come again another day. All the world is waiting for the sun.

So. I haven't wrote on here in a while. I'm kinda upset about this because I was determined to write on here all the time. Oh well. I've been pretty busy lately and things have been going very good. *knock on wood* Plus, I'm just lazy. But, now I'm bored to death, trying to take a nap is useless, and my wonderful boyfriend is in Florida. I miss him sooo much. Ugh.

Anyway, classes started back last week. I'm kinda happy about this actually. And I'm also kinda sad cause I know that school is really close to an end... I have Lindsey Miller in two of my classes. So me and her, plus the teacher Bobbi will make for a fun semester. My other class... I'm not so sure about it. Some of the people in there are mentally retarded. I'm sure of it.

I also got a new outlook on the whole engagement and marrying thing. Lindsey Miller's boyfriend got her a ring this weekend. I don't think they have plans for marriage really soon, but they do live together, have been together for 2-3 years and are very happy. My way of looking at getting engaged used to always be that if you weren't planning to get married for a long time (more than a year) then why bother getting engaged? But ya know, now I look at it like this: If two people love each other and know that they're going to be with each other for forever, then why not get a ring to officially take the girl off the market and further the point that things are serious? Cause maybe you and your partner just don't have enough money to get married and all yet. But getting to say that you're engaged and promised to be married is a wonderful thing. No matter how long it takes. Cause now, I look at it that if you've been together 2 years, 5 years, whatever, (and I do mean for some of that time to be outta school) and you haven't made that kind of commitment, no ring or anything, then what are you waiting for? Just like this quote I heard on One Tree Hill one time, "If we're not out there looking for the one we want to be with forever, then what are we doing?"

September is and always will be the worst month.

September sucks. 4 years ago on September 19th, Andrew Basham died... Andrew my first love. Andrew the best, nicest guy I've ever met... Andrew with the wonderful hugs for all... Andrew with the great kisses... Andrew with the biggest smile... Andrew who loved me and would've done anything for me in the world. Andrew who on his dying day, hugged me, kissed me on the cheek and told me that he missed me.... As I bawl my eyes out while typing this... as the tears soak the keys... I know they'll pass in a few minutes and I'll be smiling and laughing thinking back to times with him. Times when things were simple. Simple... Amazing.... Perfect. You would think that it would get easier to come to terms with the fact that he is gone. But it doesn't. It's still hard. I just wish that one day I will hear a knock on my door, and when I answer it I'll see his tall figure, a Led Zepplin shirt, his mess of curls, his brilliant smile, his bright blue eyes, and that he'll give me one of those big hugs and a kiss that would make my heart skip a beat... Sometimes I wonder what it would be like if he was still here... how things would be. I know it sounds crazy but sometimes I can actually feel him here with me... Maybe I'm just imagining how good his hugs feel but when I begin to think back to memories and miss him... I feel him. I feel his presence. I freaking smell him. I miss him more that words could ever express... I love you Andrew Scott Basham. RIP.

I wish I could just sleep through September and really have someone wake me up when it ends.

Best Smells

So I've been thinking a lot lately about the best smells. And I thought I'd share them with you because they are really random and there might be some you haven't realized before.

Summer days, the hot sun and grass being mowed.
Spring, the rain, the flowers.
Fall, leaves, bonfires, pumpkins and corn being cut.
Winter. The snow, the cold air.
Cinnamon
Love
Memories
Barnes and Noble
Hot soup
Toys R Us
Coffee
Vanilla Bean Frappuccino
White Chocolate
Christmas
Strawberry icing
Bananas
New book
New shoes
Coconut
Honey Suckle
Clean Cotton
Downy Vanilla & Lavender Fabric softener
Soft Peppermint
Roast
Gingerbread
Peaches
Chlorine on a starry summer's night
My Mark lemon sugar moisture milk lotion
Watermelon
White Chocolate Chip Macadamia nut cookies fresh outta the oven
Fierce Colognes (that's not a brand, I just like the spicy? ones. Not the ones that smell like after-shave)
Very Sexy Victoria Secret perfume for women
Victoria's Secret in general
Vanity
Hot Topic
The German Roasted Nuts stand at Opry Mills

That's all I can really think of at the moment might add more later. =)

And other stuff. =)

Anyway onto the other stuff. I've realized that I can be a real bitch sometimes. I can trash talk people up and down. BUT. I only do it to people who deserve. I don't trash talk for no reason. Only if it's people who are just all around suck. And I like to think it's okay. Cause I'm not really gonna act like I like them to their face. It's hard for me to do that. If what you is annoying, and everything I hate, then I can't just pretend to like you. I'll probably be turning away a lot so you won't see my many eye rolls and the cocking of the fake gun I'm pointing under my chin. I can play nice along with the rest of them but I am NOT gonna act like your best friend. I absolutely have no tolerance for people that are liars, hypocrites, cheaters, cocky, try to put others down, or that try to compete with others to make themselves feel superior. And if you are someone who embodies all of those... you are automatically on my shitlist. And I will talk bad about you all I want. You deserve it. You're shitty, petty, and a bastard/bitch. And yes I know a FEW, very few people like that. Well that was my bitchiness coming out. Told ya. I'm done with that ranting. Felt good to get it out as usual. =) I feel pretty featherlight right now.

Um. I'm kinda out of things to really say at the moment. My next post I'm thinking about doing over all my favorite smells... It promises to be random. And next I go see an amazing movie, or a horribly shitty one, I'll make sure to write about it also.
Nighty night all!

Lies are lies in everybody's eyes and I don't believe you.

So today was a pretty decent day all in all. Class was fun. As it always is on Thursday because I just love my teacher and Lindsey is in there so pretty much it's just non-stop laughter. I came to some realizations today. The first being that I absolutely in no way want to ever birth a child. Nopenopenope. If I ever decide I want a kid, I'm going to either have to adopt or get a surrogate mother.

I came upon this realization when listening to some people talk very descriptively about their experiences having children. It's not for me. I can't do big giant needles, IVs, or pain. So no thanks :) It was all very graphic and I do not want to put you through the dirty details so I'm just stopping here.

I also had something amazing today. Monster Import. It's got an open/close top which I just find fascinating. It also tastes spectacular. It's like my mouth orgasmed. No joke. The can said that it would still get me off as good as the original and I think it did more so.

I went shopping a bit at JC Penney's that is what happens when you let Melissa out of class early, she shops. Mainly because they have their buy one get one for $1. And I need pants. Which are hard to find for me because I'm short and stuff so I have to get short sizes. I think I'm really getting into the whole skinny jean fad. At first... I was like no. For one reason, I figured they'd all be so long that it would be retarded to even try. For another reason, I figured since I'm short, they'd just make me look shorter and fat. BUT, I tried on a few pair, which were in short sizes, and realized that they actually slim me down and make my butt look absolutely fabulous if I do say so myself. So SCORE!

All in all, today was a pretty good day. I got to see my boyfriend which is always a plus. He makes me smile so much. It's impossible to be mad at him which is actually a bit annoying. lol. When I'm with him everything is perfect. And we're pretty comfortable around each other too so that's a plus. Not getting to see him for two days will be a drag however.

Another good thing about today is that I didn't have anything aggravate me. Other then the thoughts that kept popping into my head. I swear, sometimes I wish I could just stop myself from thinking. That would be wonderful. I would be a lot happier with life if I could just stop it every now and then. It's either that or just rid the world of people or silly things like my emotions. Maybe not get rid of my emotions, just tune a couple of them down a bit.

Well that's all for now. It's all pretty random. Hopefully I can come back tomorrow with something a little more worthwhile.
Tata!

Grrr.

I'm realizing more and more each day how much I truly hate people. And by people, I mean hypocrites, liars, cheaters, whores, bitches, and ones that are beyond cocky. Really, the whole world and especially my life, would be a whole lot better and peaceful and spectacularly wonderful without them. I also hate it when people talk about people behind their backs and act like that hate them, but then suck up and act like they love them to their face. Just make up your damn mind and grow a pair already.

Enough ranting about that. I'm sure more of that will come at later times when I get aggravated and bottle stuff up for too long again. I would love to write more, especially stuff more worth reading, but I really must get off here now and do some homework before going to bed. I promise to be back tomorrow, or later on today now, with more to say and hopefully less irritated and more happy-go-lucky and cheerful.

Until then, good night cyberworld =)

A Girl Brushed Red... Living in Black and White.

So if you're here, reading this right now, you're either someone I trust a lot, or you've just stumbled upon this by chance. Either way consider yourself lucky because I do not let everyone in on my thoughts. If I wanted that, I'd blog on Myspace or something.

I've decided to start a blog because it's just an easy way for me to get out my feelings without having to really talk to anyone in particular because that is not something I'm good at. I don't let people know my problems too often and usually, if somethings wrong that could potentially start a fight or cause problems or take away from the perfectness of how everything seems, I'll lie and swear that it's fine and keep it bottled up til it kills me. That's the only time you'll catch me lying though. I also started this blog because I have lots of thoughts. Sometimes deep, and sometimes just random, but thoughts nonetheless. Hopefully I won't bore you. =)