I'm surprised and not surprised at how I got over you so fast... Not surprised because every dumb fight pushed me further and further out of love with you. You shouldn't be surprised either. You should have saw this coming. Now there's no turning back. Too much has happened. And for once, even though I'm pretty sure I may have jinxed it.... I'm happy.
I'm scared. I'm scared of you. I'm scared of this. I'm scared someone's gonna get hurt and it could be me. When things start up so fast and soon... they could have a tendency to end just as fast and just as soon... I'm curious about you. I want to know more. I really just want to know what you're thinking more than anything... Hell, I wanna know what I'm thinking.
Anyway, enough mindless rambling... Point is, I'm okay. And even if/when I'm not, I know that I will be soon enough. There's more out there then I give the world credit for. And if I do end up dying old and lonely, I'll be very pissed at the world but I guess that's just how it was meant to be. I have faith that there is someone out there that I can have a wonderful, great, stress free relationship with. Someone who shares my same interests and my same loves. We don't have to agree on everything, arguing about silly stuff can be fun. Just as long as it's light and carefree I won't mind. And as long as there is trust. Loyalty is something very important to me. If I know you haven't been loyal or faithful before than I wouldn't waste my time trying to have a pointless relationship with you. But I'm not even really looking for anything right now. If it happens it happens. I'm not going to force anything. And I'm not going to try and make it happen. I'm just letting things be.
Ok, now seriously done with the rambling. On to more important stuff. Like... music. And books. And movies. And tattoos.
Music, I have 4 tickets to 2 different shows and the chances of me going to either one of them or being able to sell them are looking doubtful. This makes me very sad. Especially if I don't get to go to the Silverstein and Bayside one. I don't even care I'll fucking hitchhike to it if I have to. And I have faith that I could. Not really faith that I'd make it back alive... But I'd try it.
Movies, yeah... I need to watch more of those. Time to get back to my movie loving self pronto!!!!
Books, since I'm bummed at the moment cause I don't know what's going on, The Perks of Being a Wallflower is being read again. Yay me! I should see if there's a world record for how many times you can read a book or something...
Tattoos, I really really really want another one. And I know exactly what I want. I want a quote. It's a book quote. I'm not telling you which quote or which book because if you steal my idea I'd have to kill you. ;)
Ummm sooo I don't really have much more to say right now... All I know is I need to let loose and not worry so much and just let whatever happens happen. Allow my self to fall even if there's no one there to catch me, allow myself to do dumb stuff, it's the only way I'll learn. Allow myself to party all night even if I have to work the next day, just allow myself to live... And let me tell you something, I plan on making this summer LEGEND.... waaaiiittt for itt....... hope you're not lactose intolerant cause the next part is..... DARY.
"A beautiful girl can make you dizzy, like you've been drinking Jack and Coke all morning. Full of the single greatest commodity known to man: promise. Promise of a better day. Promise of a greater hope. Promise of a new tomorrow. This particular aura can be found in the gait of a beautiful girl. In her smile and in her soul, and the way she makes every rotten little thing about life seem like it's going to be okay."--Taking Back Sunday
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